Bakshi looks sexier in game than he does here |
Lucky Dog 1 + badegg
creator: Tennenouji
released in 2018
Most people just call him Gian or Gian Carlo. He's sassy, funny, witty, quirky, has a crippling smoking addiction, and is a bonafide bottom. His most impressive talents include his high life-preservation skills, and his ability to take care of himself, traits that most BL protagonists don't have. Gian is reliable, resourceful, and can manage perfectly well on his own. Only problem is that no matter how lucky he may be at times, he's still a huge trouble magnet. Also, even tho his name is very long, he's actually a broke orphan with nothing going for him besides his devilish charms.
The gangster man from Grave Diggers who now gets an ENTIRE GAME ALL TO HIMSELF. And he deserves it. He's an absolute crazy freaky nonsensical wild man, and is known by many as "Shotgun Bakshi", for his beloved main weapon (hint: it's a shotgun). He has a tendency to commit mass murder when given the okay to do so by his boss, and is really damn good at it as well. He also has a very high endurance stat, and can take quite a few bullets before going down. Generally, he's just a nasty guy, and has a tendency to make obscene and inappropriate jokes at any given moment. However, there's more to this big hunk of man than first meets the eye...
Remember Lucky Dog? Remember Gian? I barely do. Let's watch him break out of prison AGAIN and watch him get railed by someone I forgot already existed until I looked up the vndb page for the first game. Anyways this is a fandisk of the original Luckydog1 in case anyone doesn't know that, and contains an alternate universe scenario diverging from the original's plot. Thus I'm gonna reach really far and say this game works standalone!
The game also includes some brief epilogue episodes for each of the main boys from the original.
Note:
I played the original Lucky Dog a looooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago, before I had a decent grasp of the Japanese language. No I don't remember anything. No I didn't actually get every ending. I only did Giulio and Ivan's routes, and... my memories... they are nonexistent. All I remember is that Giulio [redacted] and also [redacted] [redacted] and yeah. This Review/summary will be from the POV of someone with very fragmented and biased memories of the series.
General Synopsis
It's 1932 America and Gian Carlo Bourbon Del Monte is a spunky member of the powerful Italian mafia family, CR:5, which is based in the city of Daivan, New Jersey. He is very... very lucky, and is very good at breaking out of jail, and so he was given the nickname of 'Lucky Dog'. This fandisk diverges from the original story in that instead of breaking out of jail to pursue romance with one of his lovely fellow CR:5 members, he somehow becomes romantically entangled with a very dangerous man from an enemy gang, Grave Diggers, instead. How could this possibly go horribly wrong?
❤CAST❤
Gian Carlo Bourbon Del Monte
Gian wearing his iconic pajama prison outfit |
Most people just call him Gian or Gian Carlo. He's sassy, funny, witty, quirky, has a crippling smoking addiction, and is a bonafide bottom. His most impressive talents include his high life-preservation skills, and his ability to take care of himself, traits that most BL protagonists don't have. Gian is reliable, resourceful, and can manage perfectly well on his own. Only problem is that no matter how lucky he may be at times, he's still a huge trouble magnet. Also, even tho his name is very long, he's actually a broke orphan with nothing going for him besides his devilish charms.
Bakshi Christensen
Mr. Handsome unintentionally using his wily charms |
The gangster man from Grave Diggers who now gets an ENTIRE GAME ALL TO HIMSELF. And he deserves it. He's an absolute crazy freaky nonsensical wild man, and is known by many as "Shotgun Bakshi", for his beloved main weapon (hint: it's a shotgun). He has a tendency to commit mass murder when given the okay to do so by his boss, and is really damn good at it as well. He also has a very high endurance stat, and can take quite a few bullets before going down. Generally, he's just a nasty guy, and has a tendency to make obscene and inappropriate jokes at any given moment. However, there's more to this big hunk of man than first meets the eye...
The Boys
The gang ready to drive up to ihop |
Remember these guys? From left to right, we have Ivan, Bernardo, Luchino, and Giulio. They no longer get to have their chance with our beloved blonde twink, so they will just have to deal with being single forever now. Throughout this game, they fulfill the role of Gian's 4 angry exes whom Bakshi must defeat in order to win Gian's hand in marriage.
I will briefly summarize their characters for people who don't know them. Ivan is a loud rude tsundere baby who cusses too much and obsessively babies his obscenely expensive Mercedes-Benz. Bernardo is the smart megane character who is totally secretly in love with Gian and has a tendency to worry too much and gets stressed easily. Luchino is the tall muscular guy with actual relationship experience, and comes across as the more mature one who probably likes to play golf and go fishing. He is also the fist fighter bulky guy of the squad. Giulio is a rich obocchama who is also a pro assassin, a necrophiliac, gets off on killing people, and is openly in love with Gian. He also talks too quietly and... keeps... pausing a lot... like... this... unu
General Review
Story: B | I was really invested in the story while playing it, but after finishing the game and looking back at it all... it's okay. It's exciting enough in the moment though to make up for how simple it is though. The writing is engaging, and the scenes are, like I said, very engaging for the most part. The story does drag at times however, especially during the prison part and near the end. The mafia gun fights and all that are definitely highlights of the story, though of course the real peak lies in those brief moments where the romance begins to bloom between Gian and his man... Besides the romance parts, the main plot parts are quite in depth and cover a lot of varying subjects. It really goes deep into mobster life and makes you feel smarter reading it, though I can't say whether any of it is really accurate or not because I don't have a degree in Italian-American mafias.
Characters: A+ | I love everyone in this game. I love Bakshi more than I love the original guys. I love the new cast who were invented to add color to this new AU in Gian's life. I'm not fond of a lot of the mob ojisan characters, but who would be? And most of all, I LOVE GIAN!!!
Art: A+ | Yura's drawing ability has upgraded by 40295% since the first game, and it shows. There's a LOT of random CGs sprinkled throughout the game, even for some scenes where I really didn't expect there to be any. In total, there are 95 CGs (not including the epilogue stories), and since the game basically only has one route, you will definitely be seeing a majority of them in one playthrough. Which is a lot. Also the art is just super nice... I love it a lot. There is some old artwork re-used for the character sprites, which is understandable. Yura only drew new sprites for new characters or old characters who got new outfits, so the whiplash between old art people and new art people can be a bit much.
The Romance: A- | With only one man to judge in this game, I gotta say it was very satisfying. You can really see the play by play of how Bakshi falls for Gian and it's fun to watch. While there is massive amounts of plot between the tender moments, that slow burn is truly delectable... But also... the massive amount of plot. I would have preferred more tender moments since I'm greedy, but I understand that the casualness of their relationship also stems from the fact they are gangster boys with more important things to worry about in their lives. In the end I became super invested in the ship, but am left yearning for so much more...
Music: A | The 5 tracks that play over and over and over and over again throughout the game are very catchy and fun. I recognized some from the first game, but some I think are new? Either that or I just forgot about them... Anyways they're bangers. But also it's just the same 5 tracks playing over and over and over again. However, I didn't find myself too annoyed at any point so that's probably a good sign.
Overall Satisfaction: A | I am happy. I really like Bakshi and I want to see him again. I would like to see him... forever. My fond memories of Giulio have been completely eclipsed.
If you like Lucky Dog, then this game is for you. If you like a smart and witty protagonist who's gone off the rails being accompanied by his wild emotionally intelligent attack dog boyfriend while they commit crimes together, then this game is definitely for you. This game contains a LOT of crime and criminal activity, obviously, but yeah it's a fun read. Though it is also... very long. I felt burned out by the end of it all.
Though MOST importantly. If you DON'T think you will like Bakshi, then this game is not for you, since the game is 90% just his romance route. He does commit some criminal and questionable acts towards Gian during the early phases of their relationship, so that might turn some folks away. But once the romance gets rolling, he is... the perfect boyfriend. *chef's kiss*
Also YES this game features squishy sfx during the sex! The more you know.
CONTENT WARNINGS:
This game includes rape, drugs, trauma, a LOT of murder, graphic murder, non-graphic murder, dubious consent, one instance of piss, mentions of intentions to sexually abuse a child (though it doesn't happen), mentions of human sex trafficking, daddy issues, racism, a variety of racial slurs against Asians, and probably more that I'm forgetting about.
The descriptions of violence can get pretty graphic, but you can rest easy knowing there's no more necrophilia since Giulio is no longer datable!
spoilers past this point!
FULL PLOT DUMP
I regret to form you that this game is REALLY LONG. There's a lot of details so it's quite the wordy summary! After finishing writing it all all I can really say is... why did I do that to myself..? Oh well.
[Bonus note: This summary cannot express how funny some of the characters are. The dialogue in this game is really good... If you are reading this, hopefully you can play the actual game someday]
[Bonus note: This summary cannot express how funny some of the characters are. The dialogue in this game is really good... If you are reading this, hopefully you can play the actual game someday]
PRISON ARC
Just adding this cap 'cuz Joshua (the prison guard) is in it. he's chill |
It's summer time when all the top dogs in the CR:5 are thrown into the slammer at the same time for various crimes. This is bad since they're literally all the top dogs... will the mafia be safe without them around? Anyways, our plucky protagonist Gian really doesn't have anything to do with them besides Bernardo, who he is good friends with and likes to pretend he's gay with. They like to call each other Darling~ and My Honey~ and the like, platonically. Straight off the bat, things start to feel progressively more suspicious in this prison... more and more prisoners are being transferred here from other prisons that have suspiciously been burned down?? And a train comes like every night delivering... more prisoners. It's getting crowded, and the treatment of prisoners here is straight up inhumane. Some crimes against humanity are committed against some prisoners who try to escape, and Gian just watches... He gets anxious from the bad feeling he's getting, and has some nightmares about his past when first joining the mafia. Apparently the first time he experienced a shoot out was really shocking for him.
[dream flashback] One time he was also apparently kidnapped? |
During the day, Gian slowly meets each of the hot shot ikemen from the CR:5 during his time in jail, all except Giulio. Giulio is transferred to this prison later on in one of the big prisoner transfers overnight. This is around when Bernardo receives the elusive order from the Big Boss that orders Gian to break everyone out. Or when he should have on the original timeline....but he doesn't. The letter was intercepted and disappears. The boys are really worried since god knows what's going outside, and with all the GD members here watching them, one can imagine it must be bad! And now this letter's been intercepted??? Mega bad. Luckily, it seems Giulio had received a separate copy of the order written by his grandfather, the big Bondone boss (the Bondone family is a super rich old family that is a high up connection to the CR:5). So convenient. Bernardo is stressed af as he usually is when things aren't going according to plan, so Gian takes the reigns and commits to breaking them all outta jail. As the order states, Gian must break all 4 guys out of prison and return to Daivan with all of them. If he does successfully, he will be named the next Capo of the CR:5! Amazing! Gian is appalled by the statement at first, but starts to have big dreams of taking over boss Alexandro's seat!
Fun fact: The person who intercepted the letter and killed the guys who were originally supposed to bring and deliver it to Bernardo was Bakshi. I had a hunch when first reading the scene since like who else could it be... but I went back and confirmed... you can tell by the way he keep rolling his R's. Sexy.
Gian dropping an egg that's gone bad so that we can have a title drop |
Some key points during the prison phase is that there's a suspicious sunglasses man who comes to the prison, and seems to be working for the gov or something. He has some suspicious sway over the prison warden, and is just generally suspicious all around. There is a GD baldie throwing his weight around in jail too, and he runs a little clique of goons that spends their time harassing people. He seems to be be cooperating with Mr. Sunglasses and the prison warden? And last but not least... there's Bakshi. Bakshi is first introduced as a hunched over weirdo who speaks in broken sentences and seemingly has a... mental disorder of sorts. He is constantly bullied by baldie and his goons, and is just generally pathetic and weird. Gian feels sorry for him, but what can he do?
Note: Some more important facts is that two of the prison guards, Joshua and Lloyd, are friends with Gian and secretly trying to help him out here and there. They aren't part of the mafia or anything but they're cool guys. Joshua is the serious one and Lloyd is the flamboyantly gay one.
Bakshi annoys Gian while he's scouting out the baldie's secret escape tunnel |
Like in the CG above, there's a scene where Bakshi comes and annoys him while he's investigating the prison. Nothing that exciting really happens, and it's just Bakshi acting baby for the most part. Anywyas, Gian decides the best course of action is probably to use the secret escape tunnel baldie seems to be keeping in one of his cohorts' cells. However, on the day of the grand escape when he has all his suspicious tools hidden on his body, baldie calls an emergency search in the cafeteria because someone murdered his lookout and stole booze from said cell. One of Gian's most reliable collaborates, a senile looking old grandpa who's been in jail forever and sells him information sometimes, decides to sacrifice himself in order to end the search... gets killed by baldie... Gian's like oh my god grandpa. For the first time in a long time, Gian experiences loss. He sees a lot of people die, but not the people he cares about... RIP grandpa.
Gian doesn't like dead people |
Gian's put on dead person duty and has to drag grandpa's corpse to the morgue, where for whatever reason he's locked in there for a few hours. Gian really doesn't appreciate it... Eventually a fat pig(cop) comes in to apparently check if grandpa has any gold teeth to steal for pocket money. Gian breaks a bottle and holds the cop at pointy object point and interrogates him before knocking him out. He then knocks out the next cop that he lures in and steals his clothes. Escape time! Gian's new plan is to escape through the body pickup truck which should be coming soon to pick up all the dead people. He sets part of the prison on fire before heading out to let his friends outta their cells.
Bakshi deciding to stop roleplaying so that he can commit mass murder |
Meanwhile... Bakshi makes a move. He stands up straight for the first time since introduction, and reveals that he has his own little squadron of loyal lackies who've been waiting for this moment!! He also immediately murders one of them since I think they were...bad or something. I don't know. Anyway's tl;dr it turns out Bakshi entered the jail to assassinate the baldie from GD, since baldie has betrayed the gang and is planning to sell information to Mr. Sunglasses... well he's in for it now.
Gian collects Ivan, Bernardo, and Luchino, but finds that Giulio is missing. He takes the squad to their escape point, where the corpse collection car is supposed to show at some point, and he tells them to split if he doesn't come back before setting out to find Giulio. It turns out Giulio's lawyer had come to get him bail or something, but when Giulio sees the chaos outbreaking, he splits and heads to search for Gian, thinking that maybe Gian just started his breakout plan. However, being the airhead he is, he accidentally gets caught up commiting mass murder of other inmates instead... oops!
Giulio realizing he forgot about Gian and had his gay card revoked |
So the squad finds Giulio and tell him to stay put... if they all set out to look for Gian, chances are they'll keep missing each other and ruin the escape plan. Hopefully Gian just... comes back! Meanwhile, Gian is running around jail looking for Giulio, and ends up finding a trail of dead people!? He also finds an injured Lloyd, and drags him to a safer location before heading off in the wrong direction. That direction being... where Bakshi went. He witnesses Bakshi torturing baldie to death and decides to split. However, Gian's luck runs out and Bakshi ends up chasing and catching him. Oops!
Bakshi decides that the Lucky Dog himself would make a great souvenier present for GD's boss, and so handcuffs him and drags him along with his little team of GD minions. They use the secret tunnel that baldie's group was protecting to escape the prison...
Plot check time. So what the Baldie did was steal this 'account book' ledger thing from GD's boss, which apparently has very vital information written inside of it. He was planning to have a meeting with Mr. Sunglasses about it, but while waiting... Bakshi came, killed all his men, and then skinned him and pinned him up to bleed out to death. Oof. Mr. Sunglasses shows up and is PISSED that the ledger is gone. He's SO mad that he finishes off baldie himself! Grrr rawr >:( Mr. Sunglasses will soon catch wind that Bakshi did this, and has escaped with the CR:5's Lucky Dog in tow...
For reference purposes, this is what Mr. Sunglasses looks like |
Back to Bakshi. He immediately takes to calling Gian 'Wan-chan' and 'Lucky Doggie' and stuff like that, pissing Gian tf off. Reasonably, Gian then acts difficult the whole time through the tunnel before a big shake results in it collapsing, knocking him out. Bakshi goes through the effort to dig him out and save him from the rubble, then proceeding with his squad while carrying the unconscious Gian. They make it out to the woods behind the prison and this is around where Gian wakes up. He insists that his friends are gonna come save him, but Bakshi makes a bet with him that they probably ditched him and ran. They then find the gang's prison clothes scattered in the woods... did they really leave Gian behind? Gian is shooked after that, and Bakshi and his minions proceed to keep walking, meeting up with some GD associates who've prepared escape an escape vehicle. Conveniently around this time, members of the Chicago mafia show up in a car to do a drive by shooting at Bakshi's team, killing everyone. Besides our lucky lucky boy that is, who somehow got missed...
The mafia goons come to check the bodies all like WHERE'S THE LEDGER. When they notice Gian, they try interrogating him. Gian notices that Bakshi's body just twitched...he's still alive! So he decides to delay being shot by the Chicago goons by...seducing them. He pretends he's GD's little slut or something and gets his pants ripped off haha... Right before the goon commits his crime, Bakshi stands up in a daze and starts killing everyone. Bakshi keeps complaining about how much pain he's in, and Gian immediately regrets not getting the Chicago guys to kill Bakshi instead of doing the opposite. Gian keeps asking Bakshi to take off his handcuffs, but to no avail... he also learns that the ledger has been tucked into a holster that's strapped to his own body. Bakshi is all like oh I'm so clever, see that holster probably protected you from bullets too! Gian does not appreciate the jokes... Anyways, since he's still bleeding out, Bakshi shoots himself up with some morphine he finds in the Chicago goons' car to somehow help with that I guess??? But as a result he suddenly finds himself getting...horny.
This is the last thing you see before you die |
Since he's uhhh not only having an adrenaline rush from bleeding out after being shot god knows how many times, but also shot up with morphine?? Bakshi is acting very uhhh excited... so he uhhh pushes down Gian in the car and then bites his shoulder?? Blood everywhere. He then proceeds to rip off Gian's precious ring necklace (the ring is the only memento he has of his dead mother), and swallowing it??? He's like huh what did I just eat, a bullet? And Gian's like WHY!! WHY... WHAT THE FUCK... He experiences a plethora of emotions before having it cut short by the misfortune of getting assaulted. In the heat of the moment, Bakshi drops like six times that Gian is the best lay he's ever had, so I guess that works as a consolation prize for Gian's suffering.
This CG is really ero... I'm sorry Gian. Anyways, Bakshi really likes to chu chu |
Gian ends up passing out from the experience for various reasons. Primarily the blood loss. What will become of our precious protagonist...
Elsewhere, it's established that the prison guards, Joshua and Lloyd, have quit their jobs to join an investigator agency. I think it's like the FBI of something I dunno, admittedly I was skimming.
Elsewhere, it's established that the prison guards, Joshua and Lloyd, have quit their jobs to join an investigator agency. I think it's like the FBI of something I dunno, admittedly I was skimming.
✦EARLY BAD END✦
There is a no-CG early bad end you can get where Gian fails to secure an escape route. Boring. I also got a scene where Giulio beats the crap out of Bakshi (while in baby mode so he doesn't fight back) though so that's something. Unsure if you can acquire that scene without failing to break out of prison, but I'm not gonna look into it further. Anyways, it's for the best that these two never meet..................
Giulio cannot stand Bakshi |
✦✦✦
ROCKWELL ARC
Gian being confused |
Gian wakes up in a shabby crapshack shithole room, and is overwhelmed with a variety of emotions. Such as nausea. He throws up everywhere while trying to figure out where the FUCK he is. Also, it looks like someone has tended to his wounds and changed his clothes. Odd. He tries internalizing everything that happened thus far, and thinking about whether his fellow CR:5 guys really betrayed him, leaving him for dead... He then hears voices from the room next door and finds a convenient peephole to look through... where he sees Bakshi!
In the room next door, Bakshi and a man with a top hat are having a conversation. Something about delivering the ledger to GD's boss. (I can't remember top hat's name so I'll just call him that) Top Hat really wants the ledger, but Bakshi insists that he can't trust anyone but himself. He then leaves the building to go to the location that Top Hat said the boss was at. Gian's just a little confused since... he still has the ledger strapped to his chest...? Well whatever, maybe Bakshi's just being a quirky weirdo as usual. After Bakshi leaves, a chubby man named Honus(?) enters the room. Apparently he's been double agenting in Daivan and stirring up trouble. This Honus dude and Top Hat are just shitty guys overall who want to kill Bakshi and take that ledger. Apparently the place Top Hat told Bakshi the boss is at is actually a trap, with goons lying in wait to shoot him dead...
Gian decides this is really none of his business, so he decides to look for an escape. The room he's in has no visible exit besides a tiny window up in the corner. While trying to peek out, he finds... a cat. Gian then slips, making a noise that alerts Top Hat next door of his presence. Oops! Apparently this is a hidden room with a one way door, so Top Hat bursts in and captures him! What a surprise! The Lucky Dog of Daivan!! Bakshi was SO silly to have left this present here, so why not take him instead~? Top Hat decides that Gian would be a perfect present to bring to... GD's boss. And so they go!
Meanwhile, Bakshi is hanging around the area feeding stray cats, noticing that one of his precious little furry friends hasn't shown up to lunch... Bakshi immediately deduces that the cat must have stayed to say hi to Gian since... Gian must have woken up! Interesting. :) Yes Bakshi is a cat whisperer.
Gian getting offered to a bunch of rich old men |
So Top Hat takes Gian to this hotel where GD's Boss is having a meeting with two hotshots from the Chicago mafia. The boss, Iason(? I might just call him Jason lol, but it's pronounced Ii-san) is apparently waiting for Bakshi to show up with the ledger, since apparently it belongs to the Chicago mafia or something and they're doing an exchange deal for it, but lo and behold Top Hat man shows up instead with Gian. As soon as he name drops Gian, Jason is like huh??? He's a stoic older man type though so it doesn't show too much, but it's really obvious that he knows who Gian is for some reason. Top Hat for some reason believes that these Chicago goons would love to use Gian as entertainment?? For whatever reason? One of the Chicago hotshot's ugly nephew decides to take him up on the offer, and challenges Gian to multiple gambling games in order to make fun of his so called 'luckiness'. Gian's mood is completely in the pits, and he has reached critical levels of emo.
A dark aura surrounds Gian... he plays a few rounds of poker with this dude and it's clearly rigged against him, yet he somehow wins like multiple times in a row. They then play dice, and Gian rolls higher than him every single time? The dude gets PISSED. Everyone also gets a little scared since... is Gian some kind of luck god... at this rate he could probably pull 10 SSRs in one 10-roll. The dude is so pissed he challenges Gian to play Komaeda-style Russian Roulette. He has a fully loaded gun and only takes out one bullet before aiming it at Gian. Jason is like UM LET'S NOT, but the ugly brat pulls the trigger... only for it to be a blank. Pissed, he pulls the trigger AGAIN... only for it to... not fire...?
Photos taken immediately before disaster |
Being an idiot, he looks into the barrel to see where the bullet went(???), only for it to then finally fire directly into his face. Apparently it was a delayed reaction. The crowd goes WILD!! People are SCREAMING. The brat's uncle is horrified.
✦Early Bad End 2✦
Everything breaks out into chaos. People try to run away since they think Gian must be a god of death. The building ends up setting on fire?? People crowd into the elevator, before the elevator cords snap and they all fall to their deaths? Jason just watches quietly as Gian decides that he hates everything and is gonna go look for the CR:5 guys who betrayed him so that he can kill them too...
There is a CG for this scene, but Gian looks funny in it so I don't like to look at it.
✦✦✦✦✦✦
Anyways, after the guy shoots himself, Bakshi makes a sudden appearance. Everyone's surprised since the elevator didn't make any noises? Well that's because Bakshi ran up all the stairs since he's extremely fit. They're on like the 10th floor or something by the way. Top Hat is NOT happy to see him here. How did he even know where to find them? Apparently Bakshi left Gian behind as a trap, and then followed their car when they inevitably found him and decided to take him to the boss. He's a little late since he had to chase the car by foot...
Bakshi returning to pick up his doggie |
For the most part, everything is resolved. Bakshi declares he has the ledger and threatens the Chicago guys about how he doesn't want to give it back. He even shows off by pulling out baldie's skinned face (which he was still holding onto for some reason) and wears it as a mask, frightening everyone. Boss Jason decides he doesn't know which of the Chicago dudes to give the ledger to, so he's going to get into contact with their boss first before proceeding with the deal. Everyone goes home, and it's left with just Gian, Bakshi, and Boss Jason.
Bakshi reveals how he hid the ledger on Gian, and the Boss is like... -_-; He then turns to Gian and asks nosy questions about whether he remembers his parents blabla stuff like that. Gian's like uhhh none of your beeswax grandpa, so the conversation ends. Gian drops his intentions of not returning to Daivan, since they (presumably) betrayed him anyways... He's sick of it all... Not knowing what to do with him, Jason decides to leave him in Bakshi's care. Bakshi is delighted that his pops is finally letting him adopt a real doggie, since he loves kitties and doggies more than he loves the boss! Gian also has the option to tell either of them about how Top Hat is planning to betray them.... but in the end it really doesn't do much, since Jason is like yeah we been knew. Bakshi's like, when it happens it happens. These guys are too casual!! Gian also is completely fed up with being called Lucky Dog, since that's a name the CR:5 gave him... he's done with those pricks! He never wants to be called that again.
Bakshi takes Gian on a tour of Rockwell and they finally get some time to just chill and talk. This city is absolute crap. Everyone is poor. The buildings are dilapidated. Apparently all the young folk left the city for better work, so the only people remaining are grandparents and gangsters. He brings Gian to a dilapidated diner/bar/hotel that apparently used to be super grand, but is now shitty like every other place. The joint is run by an old solemn woman named Lily, and Bakshi warns Gian that any who treat her with disrespect get their balls torn off. Around this time, some guy named Max runs into the building. He's a very silly guy who's apparently a surprisingly high ranked member of GD even though he's an idiot and a coward. After hearing that Gian's the Lucky Dog from CR:5, he accidentally says every thing that could possibly piss Gian off at that moment, which results in Gian losing his shit. The stress... it piled up and finally snapped.
Bakshi stops Gian from further dirtying his pretty knuckles |
Gian mindlessly pummels the poor guy for a good few minutes before Bakshi grabs him and gently whispers in his ear, telling him to stop. He tells Gian that if he keeps doing that, he'll really hurt his hands. Doesn't his hands hurt already?? Coming to his senses, Gian does admit that his knuckles really sting... Bakshi tells Gian that he'll treat it... and Max complains that he's the one who actually got the crap beaten out of him here!? Ignoring him, Bakshi escourts Gian to one of the rooms in this building, where he treats Gian's bruised knuckles. Once again the fact comes up that Bakshi is REALLY good at first aid. He dressed Gian's bite wound perfectly as well. What can't this man do??
Bakshi continues to impress by telling Gian that he's gonna make him dinner! Apparently Lily serves food as well, but it's always bland and overcharged. The room looks like crap, and there's a table covered in empty bottles and trash. Bakshi makes a makeshift stove out of a lamp or something, where he begins to make a mysterious dish. Gian assists him in chopping vegetables and asks him what they're making, to which Bakshi replies 'pancakes'. Gian cannot imagine what the fuck kind of pancakes has carrots in it... and the resulting dish looks like absolute ass. However, it does taste good. Gian's mood slightly recovers as he begrudgingly digs in, as he hasn't eaten in like over a day! Bakshi even prepares lots of water, as apparently the tap water here can give you diarrhea. Being a cheap shithole, the bathroom water also only works during the night, so that's when shower time is... he tells Gian that if he needs anything, he'll be in the room right above this one! It crosses Gian's mind that Bakshi was literally the guy who assaulted him yesterday so... is he not gonna do it again? Bakshi tells him that he's the kind of guy who never rapes the same victim twice, was Gian expecting something? :) Gian's like... fuck off. Anyways the night comes to a peaceful close.
We get a separate scene of Top Hat getting a phone call from Mr. Sunglasses to plot some evil. They meet up to strike evil deals and are generally sinister.
The gang talking about how much Gian sucks |
Gian has a nightmare about his exes leaving him. Waking up, he finds that there's a loaded fancy-ass gun (that is apparently from Boss Jason's private collection) on the table along with a wad of 50 bucks. There's also a letter from Boss Jason telling him that he can go wherever the fuck he wants. He's free now. This just seriously pisses Gian off, who leaves to go walk around town aimlessly while being emo. After returning to Lily's place to get lunch, Max runs into the building trying to buy some gas from Lily for his car. Apparently he's trying to skip town, since Top Hat has turned on Boss Jason and there's a crazy shootout going down at HQ.
The building immediately gets shot up by Chicago goons who've come to kill Gian, but Lily has secret cannons in the bar that blast them all to smitherings. Gian decides this is the perfect opportunity to show Boss Jason how superior he is to him, so he buys gas from Lily to ride Max's car back to said HQ. Lily also hands Gian a present, some crazy guns and ammo, to gift to Bakshi. Max just wants to go home to his mama and girlfriend... but alas... it's time for work.
Poor Max doing overtime |
Like the crazy bastard he is, Gian goes in with just one gun to fight an entire armed mafia. Max drives his car into the building at Gian's request, and they pick up Bakshi, who is delightfully surprised to see them. Maybe even a little starstruck by how daring the Lucky Doggie can be. Receiving the gift bundle from Lily, he and Gian then make their gallant escapade up the HQ building while Max's car explodes with himself still stuck inside. Recklessly shooting up everything, Gian uses his quit wits to direct orders to Bakshi as they collaborate to climb the building, setting up traps and setting the whole damn place on fire as they go.
At the top, they find Top Hat and the Chicago Uncle of the brat who died, who have Boss Jason tied up in his office. Uncle holds Jason at gunpoint, telling the two to stand down... and after a tense showdown, Gian uses his wits to catch Uncle off guard, killing him. Top Hat is physically wounded by Bakshi and I think trapped under something or something? Anyways he can't move well and is begging for his life. Bakshi and Gian by this point have some solid teamwork going on, and Bakshi has begun to call Gian properly by his name. They have a casual conversation with Boss Jason before all leaping out of the window into the conveniently placed river below, telling Top Hat that if he doesn't wanna die, he should pull himself out and jump himself. Alas... Top Hat doesn't have the balls. Thinking it's impossible for him to pull himself out of whatever he was stuck on, he perishes in the fire.
Note: during this incident is when Bakshi starts falling for Gian. I used my degree in gay to analyze the facts.
Gian remembers as soon as he hits the water that he doesn't know how to swim, and immediately begins to drown. Boss Jason then drags him to shore...
Gian: Ur not my real dad, kusojiji!!1 |
They get into a big fight where Jason is pissed and tells Gian he shouldn't have come back and that it was reckless and stupid and he could've died or something!! Gian blames Jason for being so annoying earlier and giving him money and pitying him looking down on him etc. so it's his fault!! Bakshi watches from the sidelines and decides it's not his place to intervene. Gian tells Jason he's gonna beat his ass, and Jason's like ok the rule of men is the stronger guy makes the rules... or something like that. They fist fight for twenty minutes before Gian runs out of hp, and Jason's like ok you stupid mutt if you don't know what to do with your life, just join my gang instead of going off and getting yourself killed hmph! Bakshi, take him away and give him the tattoo! Bakshi's like, 'aight. Also Max randomly shows up at this point all like "wow everyone's alive!" He is a tenacious one.
Note: I don't remember where, but at some point we get Jason looking at the letter Bakshi intercepted and being like "Oh Alex you really aboutta do it huh..." or whatever, wistfully. Also foreshadowing about how he totally knows Gian's mom and yeah the excessively being worried about Gian's well-being really points out a lot.
✦Early Friendzone End✦
If you're choices thus far haven't been good enough, the game abruptly ends. Gian ends up joining GD, and he, Bakshi, and Max, have a fun and chill life doing fuckall in shitty ass Rockwell. Gian and Bakshi's relationship don't delevop further, and they decide not to go see what the fucks going on in Daivan.
Just two guys chillin' with their designated driver in the background |
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
Anyways, if that doesn't happen, Bakshi takes Gian back to his humble shithole lair to patch him up from his fist-fight with the boss, and prepare him for... the tattooing. Gian takes his shirt off at this time, and it becomes evident that the damage from Bakshi's bite was so severe, it complete removed any trace of his CR-5 tattoo... it's just a scar now. Anyways, Gian asks Bakshi where he should put his new GD tattoo, so Bakshi makes the great suggestion to put it on his lower stomach!
You can't actually see anything in this picture, but I added a box to |
Apparently in 1930s mafias, you tattoo people by just knifing it in. Bakshi mentions GD doesn't use any anesthesia or anything to be more manly sooo better tough it up! Also, when Gian strips completely ass naked to get it done, Bakshi becomes really flustered. He get's really awkward for some reason and can't look straight at Gian... Bro... you're the one who decided to put Gian's new tattoo in such a weird place?? You did this to yourself. It's around this time that Gian notices how Bakshi's GD tattoo, which is on the back of his neck, says... DG. Bakshi tells him that he did the tattoo himself using a mirror, since he didn't want to owe any other member for helping him out. Gian decides not to comment on how it's backwards.
After carving the GD on Gian's lower region, there's blood everywhere. Oops, Bakshi forgot to bring something to wipe the blood with! Guess there's no choice but to use his tongue. (Bakshi is honest to god doing this with no ulterior motives at this point) Gian FREAKS out and also gets a stiffie from how...ticklish the experience is. Bakshi gets really turned on as well, and Gian freaks out again thinking that Bakshi's gonna rape him again. Alas Bakshi just sits pathetically and whimpers about how turned on he is. Bakshi is bad at expressing himself in front of the boy he's started to like... He keeps beating the bush about how he doesn't wanna do anything like assault again and that he really regrets assaulting Gian before because it was kind of rude. I wasn't in my right mind, he says. Of course Gian's like uhh idc it still happened... fuck off... but as Bakshi continues to just sit there instead of ravishing him, Gian becomes progressively more sexually frustrated. After a good few minutes of Bakshi whimpering about how he'll just leave and jack off somewhere else if Gian really wants him to leave and also begging like a dog, Gian grants him permission to do as he pleases.
They have a very colorful experience. Bakshi then insists that Gian should shower so that he can wash his wound (and elsewhere), so he takes him to the shower where... the experience continues to be colorful but now while wet. The next day, the entirety of GD's current members has a breakfast meeting at Lily's, aka Boss Jason, Gian, Bakshi, and Max. Everyone else turned traitor or died. After discussing this and that, the boss gives Gian and Bakshi the order to go to Daivan and stir up trouble for CR:5. GD is too weak as it is right now, so they should go make a fuss and give their gang something to be proud about. The two decide to walk there, even tho Max offers to drive them... they tell Max to go back to his mommy and his girlfriend since that's all he talked about yesterday.
We also get a scene where Mr. Sunglasses is pissed off that those pesky kids ruined his plans to ruin everything. He now has a vendetta against Gian (and Bakshi). Also, Boss Jason has a meeting with the Chicago hotshot who DIDN'T try to kill him, and hands him the ledger. For now, their problems are resolved.
Note: I don't remember where this happens anymore, but at some point Gian does ask Bakshi about his ring that got eaten. Bakshi tells him he's been keeping track of his shit but hasn't seen it pop up yet... but he'll keep trying! It's probably still stuck in his stomach somewhere. Gian decides he doesn't really want to know anymore.
DAIVAN ARC
(this is the obscenely long arc)
Bakshi follows Gian through various towns and villages, since Gian's the one who knows the directions. They even stop by a quaint village and stay at a generous couple's house, paying for their kindness by doing chores at a festival. The day after they leave, Mr. Sunglasses shows up with his large sidekick, where they proceed to interrogate the family about Gian, before murdering all of them and setting it up to look like Gian and Bakshi did it??? Excuse me?? These are very corrupt investigators. They then 'discover' the scene and... yeah.
If you look closely, you can see his GD tattoo near his vagina bones |
Meanwhile, Gian and Bakshi make it to Daivan. What they find is that there's Chicago mafia goons and others just prawling the city and causing trouble for everyone? There's even people harassing the farmer's market sellers for protection money. What the fuck is the CR:5 doing!? Where are they and why aren't they protecting their people!?? Gian is so pissed, he and Bakshi beat the living hell out of all the goons. They call for backup and a higher up from their family shows up, before Gian immediately shoots him in the face. These two truly fear nothing. Gian then stands up and announces to the entire plaza that he's gonna start his own gang who's sole mission will be to kill every mafia and gangster in Daivan in order to clean up the streets. For the name... he glances at Bakshi, looking at his DG tattoo. DG...their gang will be called... Dog Grave. Get it? Grave from Grave Diggers... but Dog. Heh. Gian names himself as Dog Grave's leader, Bad Dog Gian Carlo, and claims that he's gonna make a real difference in Daivan! Bakshi is enamored by how wild Gian is. Wow. What a guy.
Meanwhile, 4 poor chaps who are out of jobs happen to hear Gian's charismatic speech...
I'll add a picture since they show up too much to be left to the imagination |
From left to right, we have Riccardo, Walther, Landolfo, and Teshikaga. Riccardo is a war-vet who fought in WW1, and ever since coming back hasn't been able to hold a steady job. Ended up working in the CR:5 as a lower minion in Luchino's section. Walther is the son of German immigrants who worked as a lower minion in Bernardo's section. Apparently he's been held back due to anti-German sentiments from those around him since WW2 is just around the corner. Landolfo is a sugar baby who lives off the money of his rich girlfriend. He used to work as a minion under Ivan. Teshikaga is a Japanese immigrant who everyone keeps thinking is Chinese and calling slurs. He is totally used to it though and constantly makes self-deprecating jokes about it. He's also a professional assassin who I think worked sort of in Giulio's faction.. if he had one. Giulio doesn't like having minions.
Basically, they are all ex members of CR:5 (except Teshikaga who was kinda just a hired hand), but they were all too low ranked to get the tattoo. Ever since the captains (Bernardo and friends) disappeared, everything's gone to shit and they lost their jobs. Hearing Gian's speech, they're inspired to help him commit mass murder, as it pains them to see how much of a mess those other mafias are making of Daivan. Except Landolfo. He's just here out of peer pressure. They decide to start stalking Gian as they don't really want to approach him in broad daylight and make targets of themselves, since Gian just announced to the world that he intends to be the enemy of every mafia in the city.
Riccardo was moved by Gian's daringness and charisma, Walther fell in love at first sight, Landolfo is interested in Gian's goals but is too chicken to admit he wants to join, and Teshikaga goes on a rant about how he thinks Gian's some kind of wenkamui or shirakamui(?) or something. Anyways, he is moved by Gian and feels that he carries a grand fate.
Gian has the option to bump into this Cleaner guy with a really weird name around this point. He's a professional 'cleaner' who 'cleans up' various things. He also does some back alley doctor work. He gives Gian his business card and disappears. This will be plot relevant in the future. Afterwards, a nun in a car drives by and honks at them, telling Gian to go home and say hi to his mama. Bakshi is alarmed.
They then head to the nunnery where Gian was raised, and say hi to Mama Teresa, the super mean strict nun that is basically Gian's second mom. Apparently Max drove to the city looking for them, and coincidentally asked for directions at this nunnery, where Teresa caught wind that he was Gian's friend... That's why she sent a nun to go look for him! They have a long talk about how Gian intends to make a gang to kill all mafias and how he's quit the CR:5, and Teresa decides to be his patron. She pulls MASSIVE stacks of cash out of her secret stash, and tells Gian that she'll support him. The city has gone to shit since CR:5 stopped doing their job, and at this point, maybe only Gian's recklesness can help save it...
Note: I don't remember where this happens anymore, but at some point Teresa questions Gian where his ring went. It's VERY important after all! It's heavily implied it's presence protects Gian from...evil. Or something. Gian tells her that Bakshi's holding on to it for him (theoretically).. haha. She tells Gian he should stay close to his friends (aka Bakshi, bearer of the Ring)
Gian and Bakshi are now carrying a bunch of duffel bags full of cash and and lure the newbies stalking them into a back alley... where Gian then strikes.
Walther with his big doe eyes falling in love at 2nd sight with the blonde of his dreams |
They soon clear up that they were only stalking Gian because they wanted to join his boy band gang. Gian immediately agrees, and then treats everyone to dinner. Bakshi's a little more wary of the newcomers, but Gian is open to giving them the benefit of the doubt. The newbies hadn't eaten in a while because they're all piss poor, so for them it's like a feast from the heavens. Here it's established that Bakshi's favorite drink is room-temperature soda, and that he can't stand beer.
After dinner, Gian asks who everyone wants to kill most at this immediate moment, and they each list a location they'd like to shoot up. For the most parts it's just places the new mafias have been making a mess of. Teshikaga has no opinions, he's just here to kill people. Landolfo's suggestion was this gentlemen's club called La Corona that used to be run by Luchino, but has since been taken over and renamed by Chicago mafia goons. Now it's called La Cantale. Apparently the club's been dragging in girls to dance and then pressuring and forcing them into prostitution and nasty shit like that. Since this location is the closest, Gian decides they're gonna go commit mass murder there right now. Landolfo freaks out, and the rest of the squad cheers. Bakshi swoons at how crazy Gian is.
The squad all share what tools they have on them. Riccardo conveniently has some dynamite for some reason, Landolfo has fake antique plates he was trying to sell, Teshikaga has his knife collection, and Walther had paint. Because Bakshi is very bad with faces, Gian uses the paint to lable everyone, drawing a wing on their personage. Walther gets a white wing on his lapel, Teshikaga a light blue one on his hat, Landolfo a black one on his cheek, and Riccardo a red one on his neck. Bakshi wanted one as well, so he gets a pink one on his forehead. Bakshi really likes the color pink.
They make an elaborate plan to sneak into the club, which involves Landolfo trying to sell shitty wares to the owners in order to trick the gatekeepers to open the door. When some mafiosos suddenly show up to enter the club, since the gang is just sneaking around the entrance, they're gonna be seen... Teshikaga decides to act promptly and immediately assassinates the men as soon as they step out of their car, attracting all the guards. Gian shrugs, all like ok this works I guess? And they charge in. In this raid, the newbies are all asked to mostly be support and stand guard or hold bags, while Gian and Bakshi do all the heavy lifting (murdering people). Being a gang by the people for the people, Gian insists that they will ONLY kill gangsters! They will not lay a hand on a single normie, no matter how nasty they are for giving shitholes like this their patronage. After committing mass murder, Gian then threatens the safe's code out of the mafia owner before emptying it all on the floor. Since backup will soon show up, Walther has the GREAT idea of setting up a trap to blow the place to smitherings and kill them all as they arrive! Gian is impressed by Walther's idea, and they do exactly that. Setting the bombs to blow up with the money, since it's dirty money and Gian thinks it deserves to burn in hell along with these shitty goons. It goes off without a hitch. Hundreds die.
While escaping, Max passes by and is all like OMG GIAN I FOUND YOU!! Gian immediately gets everyone to pile into the car and yells at Max to start driving. Cops chase after them, so Gian shoots their wheels. Max is confused... Walther, always the quit witted one, thinks of a perfect place they could use as a secret headquarters that he learned about during his time working under Bernardo! So the crew all heads to their new home... an empty hidden warehouse near the port. This is where their legend of terrorism will begin... Also they have Max drive his car into the ocean since the cops have seen his license plate. This is his second lost car...
Gian hands each of his new followers a huge crapton of cash and tells them they can split if they feel like it. However, all of them (besides Landolfo) have been sold on following Gian until death! Riccardo leaves to recruit some fellow veterans to join their gang, Walther decides to work on establishing a secret phone network for communication, since apparently that's the kind of shit he worked on under Bernardo, and Teshikaga says he has his own ways to recruit goons as well. Landolfo says he wants to go home. Bye Landolfo. Teshikaga then makes Japanese curry for everyone! Gian is the most open minded and least racist person here, and Teshikaga is moved by how not racist Boss Gian is. The bar is low.
Gian hands each of his new followers a huge crapton of cash and tells them they can split if they feel like it. However, all of them (besides Landolfo) have been sold on following Gian until death! Riccardo leaves to recruit some fellow veterans to join their gang, Walther decides to work on establishing a secret phone network for communication, since apparently that's the kind of shit he worked on under Bernardo, and Teshikaga says he has his own ways to recruit goons as well. Landolfo says he wants to go home. Bye Landolfo. Teshikaga then makes Japanese curry for everyone! Gian is the most open minded and least racist person here, and Teshikaga is moved by how not racist Boss Gian is. The bar is low.
Bakshi also worries about Gian getting too into Japanese food and losing interest in his own cooking. Cute...
Bakshi being a perfect boyfriend |
After everyone leaves, Gian passes out from exhaustion. He half wakes up at some point and sees Bakshi doing maintenance on his gun for him... what a busybody... /passes out again.
Next day, everyone works hard on what they planned to do. Gian also visits Teresa again and meets Cavaldi's granddaughter who was just stopping by. Cavaldi's another mafia grandpa and he's like Ivan's benefactor. Anyways work gets done, lots of shadiness and murdering and the likes. Walther turns out to be a lot more shady and sinister than he looks, and begins doing shady dealings with a connection from the press as well. Anything for Gian-san...
Landolfo is being wishy washy and complaining about how his buddies are crazy for signing up to Dog Grave so easily. He then accidentally witnesses Chicago goons driving Ivan's car!? The car he loves SO much that he'd murder anyone who so much as TOUCHED it. Being driven. By RANDOS?? While listening in, it turns out these goons are also headed to one of Ivan's secret bases as well. What on earth is going on...? Landolfo realizes just how serious the situation is here in Daivan with these randos taking over everything, and kicks himself for being such a wuss. He rushes back to rejoin Dog Grave.
Walther and Teshikaga string Randy (Walther likes to call him Randy) up just n case he's a traitor setting up a trap, and he cries tears of joy when Gian finally comes home.. Randy then tells them about the whole Ivan's base thing, and Gian gets excited. Maybe Ivan's turned traitor and joined up with the Chicago trash? Or he's a weakling and got captured...? Either way, Gian would like answers from his exes about ditching him at jail, so he's ready to roll out. He announces that this will be a mission just with him, Bakshi, and Max, and that the rest of the guys can go back to whatever they were doing. Bakshi always gets really happy when Gian relies on him...
They make a plan for Bakshi to cause a blackout in the building, so Gian keeps an eye on them through a window to watch them in the meantime. It turns out Honus (the chubby man who Top Hat was friends with and spent 4 minutes talking to early in the game) had been quite successful in his infiltration of CR:5, and is collaborating with the traitors to cause trouble. It turns out the CR:5 captains have all been put under house arrest in a hotel, and Honus has persuaded one of his associates to sneak Ivan out in order to torture and kill him in this hideout. He tries to threaten Ivan into joining him, and tells him if he doesn't, he'll rape Cavaldi's granddaughter and sell the video publically... Turns out they've captured her and she's unconscious in this very room at this very moment. She's only 10 years old... sick. Ivan freaks the fuck out and Gian's just like... what the fuck? What the fuck is going on here... When the electricity finally cuts, Gian swings in using a chain and starts shooting the place up.
Ivan in shock since a lot has happened in the last 25 minutes |
Ivan sees Gian and is like oh my god Gian!! I thought you were dead!! Thank god you're okay! Gian becomes even more confused. Didn't his exes betray him...? Bakshi finally shows up as backup and they commit mass murder again, causing fire and explosions in the process. Honus manages to get away, but gets injured pretty badly in the process. Ivan puts two and two together and realizes Gian's quit their family to be in some kind of gang?? What the fuck is going on here!? Everyone is confused.
Tense moment between exes |
They yell at each other for a few minutes before Bakshi starts taking pictures of them and acting annoying, ruining the mood. He admits he's jealous because he can't stand the idea of Gian talking to "the men from his past", and generally drops 52 hints that they gay. Ivan is very confused... Bakshi then hands Cavaldi's granddaughter to Ivan, and he and Gian split. Ivan ends up having to skip town in order to hide the girl somewhere because there's too many rats in CR:5 to safely leave her here.
It turns out Gian hurt his hands doing the tarzan swinging on a chain thing, so Bakshi then tenderly treats his wounds again... perfect boyfriend.
After this we get a LOT of various scenes about a lot of various stuff. Gian's gangster army grows. He commits more and more crimes with his new goons. They commit mass murder multiple times, and torture many mafia goons to death. Honestly my memories of the scene orders are too blurry to recount everything accurately so it can't be helped.
Teshikaga keeps watch-crows at HQ to look out for intruders |
Very importantly, there is a scene where Gian is once again exhausted after a long day of work, but after everyone else leaves, Bakshi tries to talk to him about feelings. Bakshi asks Gian if there's anything he's afraid of... and confesses that he actually has been afraid of boredom his whole life. He's always pursued violence and pleasure in the hopes that the world wouldn't speed off and leave him behind, and that's part of why he's been so crazy and impulsive in the past. However ever since meeting Gian, he feels like he doesn't have to think about those things anymore. Just being by Gian's side... he is satisfied. Gian thinks Bakshi is being weird, and while thinking about how he actually has a crippling fear of loneliness, he falls asleep...
After a moment, Bakshi wakes him up because he apparently fell asleep with his eyes open and that made him worried. Gian gets mad at Bakshi for starting this by asking weird questions in the first place, so Bakshi leaves him be... only to come back with a toothbrush. Brush your teeth, Gian! You don't wanna get cavities! Gian laughs at how particular Bakshi is about weird things... but begrudgingly brushes his teeth. "We might die tomorrow, yet you're thinking about my long-term teeth health..." So romantic. Bakshi then checks to make sure his teeth are polished by making out with him. Gian gets mad (but not really mad) at him, calling him a stupid idiot, before they both go to bed...
I don't think this is how you check if someone has clean teeth |
Ok this doesn't really go anywhere, but it's worth noting that whenever Gian and Bakshi are doing reckless crap and committing crimes, they have a tendency to flirt casually... Like, Gian from the start of the game always called him a crazy bastard, but now he calls him a crazy bastard...lovingly. All like "You're the best, you big fucking crazy dumbass :)" and Bakshi's always like "You're the best...Gian. :3" I die every time. Gian's favorite nicknames for Bakshi are aho, bakayaro, kusattare, and kichigai-yarou (although he uses kichigai less as the story progresses). Moe AF. Also Bakshi is very open about saying stuff like suki daze and aishiteiru n stuff... moe AF. Bakshi can be pretty affectionate, but he respects Gian's boundaries and never does or says anything too forward when people are around. EXCEPT when it's in front of... one of Gian's exes. *wipes the sweat off my forehead*
Landolfo does something cool for once in his life |
Anyways, around this Landolfo scene, he was purging this sex trafficking ring, and they like tie the guy running it to a car and I think drag him on the streets to death? It's funny, because Ivan later comes to scout the area with his loyal lackies since this is his turf, and finds the strung up remains of the guy... Shookening.
Ivan driving his precious Mercedes-Benz |
We also get info at this time about how Luchino and Bernardo are still kept in house arrest in a hotel. Giulio is kept in house arrest at his family home. It's also become pretty obvious that the guy behind this all is Grandpa Bondone. We learn that he's denying the existence of Alex's order (since Capo Alex has vanished as well so he can't corroborate it), and has put the CR:5 captains under house arrest because they "broke the rules" by breaking out of jail without an order. Shady af. Bondone grandpa really just wants to 'Make CR:5 Great Again' because Capo Alex has been turning it too American, none of that classic Italian class they used to have in the good ol' days.
Another cute scene we get is how when Grandpa Bondone is talking to his buddies about murdering Gian, apparently the name 'Gian' is forbidden... they just refer to him as vaguely as possible. The reason soon becomes apparent when one guy accidentally says Gian's name and Bondone Grandpa is PISSED. Within 3 minutes, GIULIO slams the door open, and is all like "did someone say Gian". His room is like 20 yards away... Giulio's yandere ears are not to be trifled with. Grandpa is pissed and demands the butler drag Giulio away, but Giulio is too slippery and ends up seeing this newspaper article they had on the table with Gian's picture on it. Now Giulio knows that Gian is not only alive, but also part of a gang. Yay!
Meanwhile, the captains of Dog Grave (besides Walther) decide to set up a gathering with all of their new minions so that Gian can head down and give them a pep talk to help inspire them to do a good job.
Gian turning many more people gay |
He gives a very hot-blooded speech about cleaning up the city, before getting personal with each of the new minions and making them all fall desperately in love with the beautiful and charismatic Bad Dog. Dog Grave is really coming together and is starting to become quite feared in Daivan.
Around this time, Bernardo and Luchino are let out of house jail by Grandpa Bondone, who demands their obedience in exchange for their temporary freedom. He wants them to catch and kill Gian, or else they will be executed by the end of the month for insubordination. The two have no choice but to comply... for now.
With Bernardo and his massive brain now free and able to do his job of being good at tracking phone lines, the lines Walther put all his time into setting up get immediately cracked. His location traced... and he almost gets caught by Bernardo's minions. He completely falls apart and becomes a blubbering mess in front of Gian, but Gian decides to turn the tables and make this disaster into an opportunity!
Walther probably thinking about how he'll never wash his hair again |
Gian uses their tapped network to set up a trap. Or more like... so he can walk into a trap set up by Bernardo. As a trap. He tells Bakshi that this time, he's going alone. For some reason. When he walks into the trap by the harbor, he only finds Luchino standing there instead of a hoard of mafia goons. What could this mean? He then has a nice chat with Luchino, and Luchino apologizes to Gian about leaving him behind. Apparently they really did think Gian had died when the prison like exploded in fire, but Luchino says that they had the choice to look back for him. Instead, they just set off back to Daivan... truly abandoning Gian... Gian doesn't know how to respond. He's come this far resenting them, so he's unsure how to react to this kind of remorse and care.
After Luchino's done apologizing, he says it's now time for business! All his surprise goons jump out, including full boats full of goons parking at the harbor, and he says that Gian's coming back with him! :) Gian's like oh shit maybe I didn't think this through as much as I should've, and tries to flee. However, the entire area is surrounded and everyone starts shooting everywhere. Luchino doesn't want Gian to get hurt though so... there's a lot of confused yelling. Right before Gian gets caught, someone explodes a smokescreen and comes to his rescue... who could it be? Who's Gian's prince charming!?
That's right! It's Riccardo! He then gets into a fist fight with Luchino in order to stall for time
Manly fist fighting between Men |
Riccardo mentions that he used to work in Luchino's faction and so is grateful to him, and Luchino's like... what the heck, why was a fierce guy like this working under me yet I didn't know about him?? What were my scouts doing!? While Gian continues to flail about, random people who showed up begin yelling their support for him as well.
Last but not least, Bakshi finally makes his appearance, swooping Gian off his feet!! He was SO worried about Gian, and tells him how much he loves him. Gian brushes it off because Bakshi's always like this. Bakshi tells Gian how he wanted to smack him because of how reckless he was being running into a trap like this, but as soon as he saw him.... that feeling disappeared. Gian tells him it'd be fine to smack him because he really was being stupid. "In the end, I'm really no good without you..." Ah... my heart... Bakshi tells him being told that gave him a hard-on so Gian laughs at him. They are such a bakkapuru. My kokoro..............
"I'm no good without you" -local gay gang boss Gian Carlo Bourbon Del Monte |
[I went back and skimmed through this scene to refresh my memory and I shouldn't have... that's why it's so randomly detailed here. I can't just NOT share these details!]
Anyways, they find Riccardo still stalling Luchino, so Bakshi decides to attempt to murder Luchino while he's preoccupied. Riccardo saves Luchino's life on impulse by throwing him into the ocean. Gian lectures Bakshi about it, but in the end everyone acknowledges that it was just because Bakshi was once again jealous of Gian's ex... The squad all return home safely.
With their phone line compromised now, Gian has to quickly think of an alternative in order to outsmart Bernardo. His solution... is to send Walther with Landolfo to seduce an old granny to let them borrow her phone for work, in order to set their communication base on a private line for the day. (Since for their terrorism jobs, everyone calls Walther for their next orders. He's the operator guy.) Thank goodness Landolfo is a natural man-slut and sugar baby. Once again, Walther swoons at how clever Gian-san is. Bernardo feels quite defeated when he can't figure out how on earth Dog Grave is still acting all coordinated when their lines have been compromised... what a mystery!
The gang continues to commit gratuitous amounts of violence against mafia goons, before Gian decides to pay Teresa another visit. Meanwhile, Bakshi got shot during a previous mission so he's recuperating at the base. The crows are missing for some reason, and he has a really bad feeling about it... so he sends Landolfo and Teshikaga to go after Gian. Max is the one who drove Gian to the church, and if Gian didn't meet the Cleaner Man already, there's a chance for Max to meet him outside the church and receive his business card instead. This is important.
Anyways, apparently Teresa was gonna meet with some people from another church that would cooperate, but the whole thing gets compromised and Gian's location gets busted. A bunch of Chicago mafia goons are now headed this way to shoot up the nunnery, so Gian quickly has the nuns escape with the orphans before they can arrive. Team Bernardo also catches wind of this group of Chicago goons headed towards the nunnery, so he quickly orders Ivan to go investigate and perhaps also save Gian if he sees him. (At some point he and Luchino reconnected with Ivan while Ivan is still undercover and staying low in town)
While the nuns and children do escape, Gian's basically stuck with Max while being shot at by tons of goons. Mr. Sunglasses also appears, and rigs explosives to Max's card, attempting to kill them. Gian keenly notices the bomb seconds before it goes off, and pulls Max away from it, saving his life... The car explodes, and Max is left injured and with yet another lost car. He can't find Gian either... Rubble and fire everywhere. Landolfo and Teshikaga appear and try to help as well. Teshikaga begins mass murdering the goons, and Landolfo follows the sounds of the crows (who followed Gian here because I guess he's cursed when he doesn't have his lucky ring with him) to find his body.
Gian is so pretty when he's dying... oof |
Landolfo takes everyone into his car (minus Teshikaga who stays behind to continue murdering people), and this is when Ivan conveniently appears. He gets into a street race with Landolfo, since he wants to capture Gian, but Landolfo ends up beating him by driving into an alley that's too narrow for a Mercedes-Benz to fit in.
If nobody received the Cleaner Guy's business card at this point, Gian Dies. GAME OVER.
If they did, they call the Cleaner and end up picking him up to kidnap and bring to their secret hideout. Since he's also a back alley doctor, maybe he can help fix Gian... By the time he gets to the hideout, Bakshi has already patched up Gian to the best of his abilities, but his skills still aren't enough. Apparently Gian's stomach wound has started to suffer from cell death, and has like bacterial infection or something. Anti bacteria cures didn't exist yet during this time. Or do they? Cleaner Man pulls out this magical thing called Penicillin, which apparently hasn't been FDA approved yet. However, he will use it anyways to save Gian's life! It's a gamble, but Gian likes gambles, right? Gian takes the gamble and uses the mysterious medicine...
✦NOTHING IS RESOLVED END✦
If you didn't play your cards right, you get this ending here.
The story cuts to a week later, when most articles now assume the Bad Dog Gian Carlo is dead. Landolfo and Walther go to a meeting with some mafia dude where he apparently asked them to bring Gian Carlo's head. Which they did. Apparently.
Sus... |
After the mafia guy makes fun of them for an extended period of time, he announces how he's gonna kill them as soon as his son arrives. Where is his son anyways...? It's getting late! The lights then go out, and the two begin to kill everyone. Riccardo was also outside, and kills the outside guards. Surprise! Turns out this head was also the mafia guy's son's head, not Gian's. How didn't he notice? They then mutilate the guy for the press to find the next day, once again sending a message of outrageous violence against mafiosos to the public.
Apparently Capo Alex randomly escaped confinement from wherever at some point, and Grandpa Bondone has since gone into hiding. With the CR:5 captains all gathered under him, they wage war against Dog Grave. Gian, who has recovered from his wounds, is excited for their inevitable clash....
That's it.
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
Anyways, that clearly didn't happen. What really happens, is Gian starts having odd dreams... waking up to find Bakshi looking after him. Bakshi is SO relieved to see him awake, and is so happy... that he starts to cry. Gian's a little surprised, but comforts his loving bae. Apparently Gian's been comatose for a week, and Bakshi has been doing literally everything for him. He's been giving him shots of meds and stuff, he's been keeping him clean, changing his clothes, changing his diapers??? Doing everything you could possibly think of. Gian is not happy to learn that he needed diapers while he was comatose. He gets up since he has to piss, and Bakshi's all like no need, I shall bring a can to piss in for you... I will also help you hold your dick. Don't over-exert yourself. Embarassing... Yes there is a piss CG. No I won't show it.
Obviously, doing that get's Bakshi horny and they have... a moment. Bakshi is reasonably worried about aggravating Gian's stomach wound however, so they do it with Gian's thighs. I really don't think they should've been doing it at all, but well it can't be helped.
They are so in love |
After Gian recovers, the Cleaner tells them that he found Capo Alex's trusty watch. Apparently it was a fake that Gian sold him when he first met him, and Capo Alex has lovingly kept it ever since... Apparently it was on the corpse of a GD goon that Cleaner Man cleaned up. The squad goes to investigate the corpse, and finds that the dude has some muddy ass shoes. Where on earth in Daivan is that muddy? Bakshi eats the mud in order to taste where it's from, and detects mowed lawn flavor on it. Where could have mowed grass, AND lots of mud? The golf course. Good job detective Bakshi. This must be where Capo Alex has been detained.
Gian and Bakshi head there and Bakshi intimidates the GD goons into letting them in. Apparently they came under Honus' orders, but of course they'll defer to Bakshi since he's swole af. It turns out since they last saw Honus, his wounds had become infected, and since he had no access to penicillin, he's now a decaying mess. Being the nice guy he is, Gian kills him to put him out of his misery.
They then find Capo Alex! Apparently Honus cooperated with Grandpa Bondone in order to shut him away. Grandpa wanted them to kill Alex, but Honus was plotting to like trade him for more money or something who knows. Gian and Alex have a dramatic reunion where Gian yells at him. Alex drops that he's Gian's real dad, but by this point it seems Gian already knew that... I mean Alex really doesn't hide the favoritism.
Gian: idc if you're my real dad Jason's my new dad |
Gian tells Alex that he's already abandoned CR:5 and joined GD. Alex is like o shit you broke the omerta. Now CR:5 is legally required to kill you. However I love you, so I'm gonna give you the Tuscounini Emblem (No I don't know how to spell Tuscounsininig I'm not Italian). Apparently this 'Emblem' thing, which is a ring, is like.. the symbol of the entire mafia. (CR:5 used to be called the Tuscounini Family) Since he's a man of his word and promised Gian the Capo seat, he gives it to him as a goodbye present. Stay safe my boy... Gian's like uhhh okay I guess. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with something so obscenely valuable when I've already quit the family but I guess!! He then ditches the joint with Bakshi.
Soon after, Luchino appears and finds Alex, then bringing him home secretly. Alex wants to keep things on the down low for now, since he doesn't want Grandpa Bondone to figure out about his still being alive.
Note: Some fun facts include how throughout the game, there's various flashback memories played that may or may not be in Gian's dreams. It's probably Gian's dreams. Anyways it shows his babyhood and childhood, and how Alex is his real dad and how he and Boss Jason constantly were at each other's throats over his mom, Jesomine or something. She had a brother who died apparently? Then she died? Apparently Alex and Jason both think each other caused her death or something? They were bros but now they hate each other. But they both love Gian more than anything. Jason visited Gian multiple times when he was in the orphanage, and Alex did... less so... but well shrugs. Drama. Gian grew up really affected by all this shit and now he's the way he is now.
With Capo Alex set to return, thus revoking Bondone of all his betrayal powers since people won't listen to him anymore if they knew Alex was still alive, Gian starts to realize how everything he did was kinda for nothing? He thought Alex betrayed him, but in reality it was all Grandpa Bondone. He was kind of blinded by anger and didn't think things through this whole time. Also their intel is starting to get leaked, so Gian decides it's time for Dog Grave to disband. His 4 captains are super depressed at the news, but they understand why it must come to this. If Dog Grave continues to stir up trouble when the evil mafia problem has been resolved with the restoration of the original CR:5... that'll just defeat the purpose of what they were founded for. To protect the people from the shitty goons.
They have a final party where everyone eats Japanese curry and cries about how much they care about each other. Landolfo breaks out the booze, and Gian mentions how Bakshi's influence has given him childish tastes lately, as in he hasn't drunk much alcohol. He hasn't even smoked either. The other squad members who smoke also admit that with all that's been going on, they've forgotten to smoke... The cure for crippling addiction is committing massive amounts of adrenaline inducing crime, who would've thought. Bakshi drinks one shot at Gian's behest and becomes drunk immediately. After their party, the squad (besides Bakshi who's still passed out) then begin working to disband. Gian gives each captain a shit ton of cash as a goodbye present.
At the end, Gian tells Walther to do one last favor for him. There's two options which cause a branch in the endings. He can either ask Walther to help him decode Bernardo's secret hotline phone number so that he can give him a surprise call, OR he can ask Walther to keep and hold onto those paints they used at the very beginning when they first met... to hold onto and remember their camaraderie... nakama power.
Meanwhile Giulio is still stalking news for instances of Gian like a crazy stalker |
Bernardo: My honey please don't leave me |
The next day, if Gian does the call Bernardo thing, he has a dramatic conversation where he says his final goodbyes. He heavily implies that they will never see each other again, and Gian calls Bernardo "Darling~" one last time before hanging up. Bernardo's heart gets broken. Bernardo's lackies trace the location of the call to a phone booth right outside their building. Bernardo runs out in a rush, only to find an old necktie there... a necktie that's part of the team Bernardo uniform. He realizes it belongs to Walther, and this is Walther's declaration of victory against Bernardo.
If they DON'T do that, we get to see what all of the DG captains do when they leave. Riccardo goes back home to his neglected wife and daughter, only to find that his wife has chosen another man. He gives his daughter a gigantic sack of cash and tells her to hide one portion for herself to use in the future, and give the other to her mommy when the strange man has left. Apparently the new man also hits the daughter sometimes so that really sucks. I think it's implied that the guy is using money to coerce the mom into being with him, so Riccardo's sacks of cash might help. For whatever reason, Riccardo decides he can't come back anymore, and gives his daughter a tearful hug while telling her he loves her and that this is goodbye, before playing one last game of hide and seek with his baby girl... disappearing while she's still counting... ??? Riccardo you suck.
Walther goes home, where his younger brother is super happy to see him. Apparently since they're running out of money, he took a break from college to help work at home... Walther is shooked. He didn't want this. Walther's dad then comes out and threatens to kill him. Apparently Walther's joining an Italian mob family has ruined their household's reputation forever. Walther is dead to them. His mom also comes out and tells him to leave forever. Walther leaves, before his bro stops him at the complex entrance, telling him that their parents will have a change of heart. Please don't go bro... Walther gives his younger brother his huge sack of cash and tells him to go back to school and to think of him as dead. I'm dead to you now... you won't see me again. Goodbye. He disappears into the rain while his bro is sad.
Landolfo tries giving his huge sacks of cash to his black girlfriend, who then goes off on how she doesn't want his money. She gives a rant about how she doesn't want any man to have control over her or whatever and that she never really loved him. And also he clearly loves someone else more than her... ever since he joined his little gang, he's been acting like a virgin in love all over again! Landolfo is really offended and runs away with his money. It turns out his girlfriend (who is named Cleopatra, I only remembered to mention it now), still loves him, but believes their relationship can't last any longer. She's worried about his safety in his gang, and begs her uncle to buy all the weapons off the black market so that his enemies can't get them. Her uncle's like girl you know we can't do that, so they proceed to not do that. Anyways this just confirms Landolfo is in love with Gian! Totally! There are many hints, believe me.
Teshikaga has no material desires, so he drops his money throughout the slums, and when caught by locals, tells them that it's a Christmas present from Bad Dog Gian Carlo. Thanks Teshikaga.
Meanwhile, Grandpa Bondone tries to make one last attempt to kill Gian, and collaborates with Mr. Sunglasses who is randomly here now to do so. Mr. Sunglasses has used his sneaky connections to uncover the Dog Grave base location with the help of some of Teshikaga's coworkers who betrayed him because it turns out they are racist against Asians. Giulio reads their lips through the window however and gets the wild idea that Gian must be at this Dog Grave base. Everyone heads there... but Gian isn't there since he's out chilling?
The 4 DG captains gather up by the port where the hideout is, since as just established, none of them really have a home to return to now. They bond over how much they're still in love with Gian, and then see the groups of hoodlums headed towards their secret base. They end up sneakily following after them, only to find... Giulio!? Giulio is completely delusional, thinking that Gian is being forced to be in a gang by these Dog Grave scum, and murders everyone he sees even though they're not even... DG members... they came to kill Gian... Anyways, the actual DG members reveal themselves for some reason and try to fight Giulio. It does not go well. They struggle to escape. Giulio's new sprite since he's wearing a new outfit is very handsome.
Giulio chilling after filling the hideout with a sea of blood |
Giulio chases the guys back to the harbor path, and Teshikaga literally has his guts starting to spill out after getting shanked. Max appears and tries to run over Giulio, but it doesn't work and he ends up crashing somewhere. Gian and Bakshi arrive and try to subdue Giulio. Giulio defeats Bakshi however, so Gian holds Giulio at gunpoint. They made such a huge mess here, so the cops are on their way right now too. Everyone's bloody and injured and now this... what could possibly go wrong next.
Gian: Please stop killing all my bros, Giulio |
✦ELOPING ENDING✦
If Gian has failed to trigger any of Bakshi's romantic moments by this point, he actually has weird dreams foreshadowing this encounter instead. Gian can't bring himself to shoot Giulio and drops his gone, giving Giulio an opportunity to knock him out and kidnap him. Giulio initially intends to just keep Gian to himself, but being smart at times, soon realizes that it's just not a viable choice. He confides in the other CR:5 captain's for help, and they all discuss what to do with their Gian. Apparently Luchino was already intending to quit the mafia since this whole plot has been too messy for him, and the rest of the gang apparently agrees? They all decide to simultaneously quit the CR:5, and take Gian with them to the west coast, where they decide to invent Las Vegas and turn it into a gambling heaven where they can keep Gian in their custody forever. Gian wakes up and is like ummm y'know what sure okay. My boys will probably come looking for me though, so I look forward to when y'all fight over me I guess.
Is this a harem ending |
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
If that doesn't happen, instead, Bakshi uses the opportunity to knock Giulio over. Giulio ends up escaping after having his heart broken by Gian pointing a gun at him and not even killing him. The DG gang scramble to Gian and tell him that they have a secret escape boat hidden behind the hideout, prepared just in case for emergencies like this. This boat was actually mentioned when they first made their hideout, so that's foreshadowing for ya. Walther tells Gian that they already have another escape route planned, so Gian should hurry and take Bakshi to the boat. Bakshi was seriously injured from his fight with Giulio, so it's tricky, but Gian decides to listen to Walther and escape. They also randomly run into Max who's still okay, and he then assists Gian and Bakshi.
While they get away on a boat, it turns out Mr. Sunglasses has arrived and is despo to murder Gian as usual. However he's frustrated when he gets back reports that Gian isn't even here!? Cleaner Man also randomly appears and starts using a machine to spew poison gas everywhere. A lot of the cops who've come start getting knocked out by it so Mr. Sunglasses is forced to retreat. The DG hideout then explodes. Wonder what became of the DG captains?
On the boat, Bakshi tells Max to steer it East (I think), since it turns out he'd prepared a secret hideaway just in case their newbie allies had betrayed them way back when. He can be surprisingly diligent and prepared when it comes to these things... They park their boat in this hidden spot, and Gian and Bakshi tell Max that after a long conversation, they've decided to let Max go. While Bakshi and Gian have huge bounties on their heads and their faces are well known amidst every hitman in town, nobody knows who Max is! If he leaves now, he will be safe. Max cries a lot, but ends up leaving... goodbye Max.
Gian and Bakshi flirt and joke around a lot about how they might really die during their attempt to skip town. Gian tells Bakshi that he intends for them to survive, so he won't have sex with Bakshi until they get out, since that'll give Bakshi something to look forward to. In the end they fuck anyways because they're idiots in love who finally have time together... it's their first time doing it since that time back in Rockwell. Damn. They were seriously pent up so... yes.
Afterwards, Bakshi comes to a profound realization. That until this day, he was truly... a virgin. Because sex doesn't MEAN anything if there's no LOVE in it. IT'S NOT REALLY SEX... Bakshi has hit up so many hookers in the past, but it was all just NOTHING. It wasn't sex. He was... a virgin, in both body and soul. But now he is no longer... since he had True Passionate Sex with the one he Loves. He goes out of the boat and screams into the ocean, "I'm Bakshi Christensen, 25 years old, and today I lost my virginity!!" Gian feels like he wants to die.
Gian dying of embarrassment. What if the hitmen found them because of this...? |
Fun fact: Today, Christmas Eve, is Bakshi's birthday. So he just turned 25. He's two months younger than Gian... cute.
Around this time, the CR:5 Captains have moved to regain control, and Bondone Grandpa ends up escaping from town, going into hiding. The captains also decide that this is the finale, and they will be the ones to stop Gian. As according to their omerta rules, they have to kill Gian... If they do, it must be within Daivan though, since murder outside their territory can get legally difficult.
Once again, I cannot remember when this happened, but at some point since it's basically clear now that Mama Teresa was Gian's sponsor, Bernardo and Luchino head to the shot up nunnery to meet with her and take her out. They have a dramatic conversation about how Gian truly is her child, since she was the one who actually raised him while his potential dad's were fucking around in the mafia. Gian was abandoned by them, and she's the only one who feels that she can understand him and who truly loves him. Teresa did everything to protect Gian. She regrets nothing, so they can shoot her if they so please. She even shows them an old picture book of the Little Mermaid that Gian destroyed the last page of, since it was too tragic and he wanted to erase it... Poor baby Gian couldn't understand why things had to end so terribly. Bernardo and Luchino kind of start to feel bad, and Bernardo decides to not kill a nun since that would be kind of a dick move. They leave, knowing that Teresa no longer has any power (or money) to cause anymore trouble.
Once again, I cannot remember when this happened, but at some point since it's basically clear now that Mama Teresa was Gian's sponsor, Bernardo and Luchino head to the shot up nunnery to meet with her and take her out. They have a dramatic conversation about how Gian truly is her child, since she was the one who actually raised him while his potential dad's were fucking around in the mafia. Gian was abandoned by them, and she's the only one who feels that she can understand him and who truly loves him. Teresa did everything to protect Gian. She regrets nothing, so they can shoot her if they so please. She even shows them an old picture book of the Little Mermaid that Gian destroyed the last page of, since it was too tragic and he wanted to erase it... Poor baby Gian couldn't understand why things had to end so terribly. Bernardo and Luchino kind of start to feel bad, and Bernardo decides to not kill a nun since that would be kind of a dick move. They leave, knowing that Teresa no longer has any power (or money) to cause anymore trouble.
Bakshi: Ho ho ho |
The next day on Christmas, our gay duo begin their reckless escape from Daivan while Bakshi wears a santa costume. For some reason. While things look really bad at first, the local civilians begin to help the two sneak through and escape the mob? Apparently all the poor people have become huge Gian stans after Teshikaga gave everyone free money, so they're repaying him by helping him skip town. Gian never heard about this, so he and Bakshi are just confused the entire time.
Note: More facts I forgot to mention. Ever since Mr. Sunglasses framed Gian for killing innocent villagers, he's now officially a heinous felon so that's why all the cops are after him.
They manage to get all the way to the road outside of time where it's just one last stretch before reaching the border to the next city. However, that border is filled to the brim with cops and gangsters. Gian and Bakshi leave the nice uncle who drove them this far, and begin to walk, wondering how they're gonna take out this many guys. It's also cold af, and they will probably freeze to death even if they survive this... oof.
There also is a moment where Gian can decide whether to keep holding onto the Touscioninini Emblem, or to just leave it here randomly. If he leaves it here, it's soon discovered by Luchino and Bernardo's minions, one of which has very keen eyesight apparently.
Around the same time, Mr. Sunglasses is at a different police checkpoint, wondering where tf Gian is. Lloyd and Joshua roll up, revealing that they've been digging evidence for his crimes this entire time. They even got his sidekick to fess up. In a panic, Mr. Sunglasses tries to shoot them, then getting shot down by nearby cops. Bye ugly.
Around the same time, Mr. Sunglasses is at a different police checkpoint, wondering where tf Gian is. Lloyd and Joshua roll up, revealing that they've been digging evidence for his crimes this entire time. They even got his sidekick to fess up. In a panic, Mr. Sunglasses tries to shoot them, then getting shot down by nearby cops. Bye ugly.
Back to Gian. Upon approaching the police barricade, Gian and Bakshi engage in a final intense shoot out. Right before they think they're gonna die, Max returns! Driving his truck, he yells at them to get on! Bakshi makes a big show of it, yelling about how their ride is finally here, and then proceeds to duck into the snow and hiding Gian there. All the goons, assuming that they'd escaped by Max's truck, then leave to go find cars of their own. Gian and Bakshi take out the few who remained, and begin their treck back to Rockwell. Gian feels kind of bad about ditching Max like that, but what could they do.
He must be really cold |
While Gian and Bakshi have a tender moment talking about how they really gonna make it, it's revealed that the CR:5 Captains are nearby, and that Giulio is aiming a sniper rifle at Gian's head at this very moment. A variety of things can happen from here.
✦EMO END✦
As soon as Gian comments on how he feels a nice breeze, Giulio pulls the trigger, killing Gian instantly. Bakshi freaks the fuck out and begins charging where the bullet came from. Giulio's hands start shaking and he can no longer aim properly, so the other 3 begin shooting at Bakshi until he dies, commenting on how he really is a monster from taking so many bullets before falling. Giulio then shoots himself to repent for murdering his beloved Gian-san. Bernardo's just standing there like my god... my god...
In the end we just get a flashback to Gian as a child, saying hello to Boss Jason. It's the first time Gian has ever spoken words, and he calls him... papa... Jason cries. Wait does this mean Jason's Gian's real dad? God he and Alex fight so much about it I really have no goddamn clue.
Baby Gian... he's dead now... holding an egg so that we can title drop |
✦CLIFFHANGER END✦
Please don't kill my honey |
Bernardo gets cold feet last second and stops Giulio from killing Gian. Giulio admits he didn't really have the nerve to pull the trigger anyways. They let Gian and Bakshi cross the border, and the game just ends abruptly there.
✦✦✦✦✦
If none of that happens, Giulio just doesn't pull the trigger because his gay overwhelms his sense of duty. Gian and Bakshi safely cross the border.
They go back to Rockwell and have dinner with Boss Jason at Lily's joint. Everyone's happy.
✦SEMI HAPPY ENDING✦
The Gays and Dad |
That's it. The end.
✦TRUE ENDING✦
They hear talking outside, and it turns out Max has brought all the DG captains with him! They're all alive! And they've all decided to commit the rest of their lives to being with Gian since they're all desperately in love with him
The MANY gays and Dad (and also Max) |
That's it. The end.
[I may or may not do the after story epilogues for the OG boys someday, so if I do I'll update this post here.]
It's over. This game was too damn long, but at the end I wanted MORE. It's just not that satisfying...? Where is Bakshi and Gian's wedding...? I don't care if gay marriage wasn't legal back then. Make it legal. Anyways I desperately want to get all the Bakshi/Gian drama CDs now so that's where I am in life.
Overall, Bakshi is my favorite boy now. He's just such a perfect boyfriend. He and Gian go together wonderfully. I also enjoyed how this whole game is just making all the exes Gian's gay enemies now. It's spicy. It'd be cute if there was more gay moments with them longing for him though... haha.
I LOVE GIAN BTW!! He is one of the best BL protagonists ever. I love how in control he is and how he runs everything. Inspirational. Bottoms can be Bosses too. Anyways I'm dead tired so goodbye.
this was a ride to read! but I feel like I played the whole game now thanks to you, I'm really grateful for the detailed summary.
ReplyDeleteI'm also looking forward to when you play the extra stories with the og bois !
I'm glad you enjoyed the summary! ^^ Tbh i don't see myself finishing the extra stories any time soon, but mayhaps someday...
DeleteI didn't quite finish this, because I still want to play it myself and not spoil everything, but DAMN I had a blast reading this, maybe I'm just broken but I found everything way too hilarious. I made an account solely for the purpose of telling you you're funny.
ReplyDeleteOmg thanks so much! Haha I love the validation knowing I'm funny... anyways hope you can finish the game sometime though since it's a good one. I think. Honestly this comment reminded me of the post so I reread the whole thing and I'd forgotten most of it lmao, but ya it's a charming game!
DeleteIconic review. Almost forgot I had an account on this website, but when I remembered again I came just to comment on this funny af review.
ReplyDeleteLol ty! I still defs like this game a lot :3 I wanted to replay the original one of these days but knowing Bakshi ain't dateable in it really kills my motivation. xD
DeleteHi! I hope you’re doing well. I was curious on how did you get the game? I tried to buy it on DLsite, but they don’t have any payment options that work outside of Japan :( I also checked Amazon and Animate, but no luck there either! If you have any tips on how to get it, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks a lot!
ReplyDeleteHello! Sadly I got this copy physically in store when I went to Japan a long time ago... However, you should still be able to purchase via dlsite if you use points to purchase. It's one of the payment options and makes you buy point packs from an external website that accepts foreign cards. I'd have to make another purchase to remember the exact process, but it definitely still works since I just bought something a couple weeks ago! Hopefully that can work for you!
DeleteHiii thank you so muchh! I didn’t know about the points system ,,,, also I got the game finally all thanks to you ^^ so excited to finally play it! Tysm again <3!
DeleteYay, I'm glad it worked out!! Enjoy the game!! I really liked this one xD
Delete